I wonder all the time what it is like growing up as the sibling of a special needs child. My 7 year old son, Kekoa, opened up and answered some questions about life with Oli.
What is the very first memory you have of Oli?
-“I think the first thing that I saw about Oli was that she was blind. Well that, she had ummm…she had no eyes and that was kind of creepy at first.”
Do you remember her getting her first pair of real looking eyes?
-“Ummm..I think I remember. I just saw online that she had the clear ones first.”
What do you want people to know about Oli?
-“I want people to know that just because she doesn’t have eyes, doesn’t mean that she doesn’t know what you’re saying. She understands whatever you say. You should talk to her normal.”
How does it make you feel if people stare at her or say mean things to her?
-“It makes me feel sad. It makes me feel like I’M the person being bullied by those people because she’s my sister.”
What would you say to those people?
-“She’s a normal person. She just doesn’t have eyes.”
What does it feel like to have a sister with a disability?
-“I’m just worried about people being mean to her. Sometimes I worry about her falling down and getting really hurt. I worry about her having to go to the hospital.”
Do you remember the first time Oli had a big seizure and had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance?
-“Yes. I remember daddy telling me to go upstairs. I remember wondering if she was going to be okay. Or was she not. I was just really worried that she wasn’t going to be okay that time.”
Do your friends ask you questions about Oli?
-“Yes. A bunch of times. They ask me like ‘Can she blink?’ I say yes. ‘Why does she have fake eyes?’ I say that people will accept her more because she looks like everyone else. I don’t think it’s very important to look like everyone else because everybody has differences and God just made us that way. That’s the way He wants us to be.”
Are you excited that she started talking again?
-“Yes. Very excited. I think that since she started talking, she’ll start doing other stuff too.”
What kind of stuff do you want her to be able to do?
-“I want her to be able to walk. To have lots of friends. I want her to be able to like do normal things like everybody. I want her to be able to play with me.”
Is it hard at home to have a special needs sister?
-“Sometimes. Because it’s hard to do stuff and concentrate when she’s crying.”
Is it hard because she has lots of therapy and doctor appointments?
-“Well no. Not really.”
Is it hard because it takes more time away from you, for mommy and daddy to help her?
-“Yes. You guys spend more time with Oli, helping her do things, than Ginger and I do. You guys just know more about her than we do. I like to help her. I like to help her walk. I like to hold her hand.”
If you had one wish for Oli, what would it be?
-“I would wish that she would be able to see. And that’s it. I just wish she could see because it would be easier for her.”
I'm fine, but my mommy has issues! 